Waiting for Spring
I thought the last snowstorm we got might be the last. Actually, I felt like the last storm might be the last, but how I feel and what the weather does are two different things entirely. Maybe it is more accurate to say that I hoped the last storm would be the last, that we were on the road to spring, that I could finally get on with moving forward and starting to build again. I’m tired of storms—the literal ones and the metaphorical ones, and I guess a big part of me is waiting for things in the world to change so that I can stop fighting so...
read moreLife of Piles
Every morning when I get dressed, I walk to my dresser, take two steps to the left, and dig through baskets, bins, and piles of laundry to find the clothes I will wear for the day. Some of it is clean, gathered into a basket to be banished to the corner of the bedroom for a few cycles of laundry until I finally get a wild spurt of motivation and put stuff away. Some of it is mostly clean, worn but not dirtied enough to justify devoting resources to its laundering. Some of it is not clean. Sometimes the piles mix together and everything gets...
read moreThe Secret Lives of Barn Cats
As I walk down my snow covered driveway to retrieve a package left by our gate, I am met by the dotted lines of cat tracks. One meets my path near our garage door, beelines east toward the fence, then abruptly changes direction when it becomes apparent this route will collide with a patch of weeds. The path reminds me of an animated transcription of a bouncing ball. Back and forth this dotted line weaves across the driveway’s deeply inscribed tire tracks all the way to the gate. As I watch these phantom footsteps dance across the driveway, I...
read moreDaring to wear cool boots
I’ve been wrestling with the idea of what it means to be cool. When I was in high school, I looked for cool in unconventional places—not among the “popular” students, but among those who were openly counter-cultural. Even though I didn’t talk to them overly much, I was interested in the goth kids. They seemed kind and interesting, and I liked the aesthetic in which they chose to dress. A part of me always wanted to make friends with them, but I was held back by the feeling that I couldn’t live up to the level of “cool” that I perceived in...
read moreThe Joy of Recurring Hobbies
I’ve been thinking lately about spirals. They are used in media to represent instability—the dizzy spells of injured cartoon characters or dysfunctional people who are “spiraling” out of control. Spirals stand in opposition to their cousin, the circle, which in western metaphors is typically stable, eternal, and complete. We are taught to pursue the qualities of circles, to make predictable and long-standing decisions that will not get away from us, however unrealistic that proposition actually is. According to encyclopedia.com, “A spiral is...
read moreRiver of Grief
I never think of the ocean. Even after having lived near one for a year, I’m such a desert dweller at heart that the idea of an ocean never really crosses my mind. Instead, I think of rivers. I think of western flowing water that hides at the bottoms of canyons as they cut across the arid landscapes. Water is such a powerful and persistent force. It can wear down just about any solid matter given enough time. When I think of struggle or of hardship, my go-to metaphor is water—not the repeatedly crashing waves of ocean upon beach, but the...
read moreMeal Kits and Other Food Shortcuts
I love to cook. Taking ingredients and making them into a flavorful, nutritious meal is incredibly engaging for me. It requires me to sync my creativity, my problem-solving skills, and my ability to learn new things in order to produce something great. When I’m at my best, the thing produced is not only delicious, but also useful—combining homegrown foods, foraged foods, and whatever has been sitting in the fridge just this side of too long. I can’t put this level of effort into every meal, though. I have limited wells of energy and...
read moreBeing a Neighbor
This morning, the ground was still soaked with rain water from the previous night’s storm when I went outside to let my goats and chickens out of their enclosures and into their respective yards. The weeds (mostly kochia, an invasive species in this area) have grown tall and hearty with the onset of the seasonal rains, and many plants—now close to my height—are growing in or adjacent to the path, making accessing these enclosures a challenge. As often happens when I am beset by this sort of inconvenience, I made a plan to pull weeds and toss...
read moreProjects During Turmoil
I set myself a goal this year to complete two related projects. The first is building a “kitchen garden” in a fenced area of the yard used by previous owners as a dog run, but never used by us for anything. The second is creating a multi-paddocked chicken run in the space where our primary garden used to be. Although these projects are part of a vision for a much larger garden transformation, I have limited myself to only working on these two. Financially and mental energy-wise, I can’t manage any more than that at a time....
read moreChicken Meditation
There is something meditative about hanging out with chickens. When my husband and I started farming, I thought it would be the goats that I would spend the most time with. Cute, energetic, weird eyes—what’s not to love about goats? Certainly we would be best buds. It turns out that when I am in the mood to spend time outside with the animals, what most often draws me there is the desire for a break from constantly needing to do things (i.e. the dishes, the laundry, paying bills, writing…). The goats, while endowed with lovely personalities,...
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